Starting Over

But I will Hold on Hope

I won’t let You Choke

On the Noose Around Your Neck

And I’ll Find Strenght in Pain

And I will Change My Ways

I’ll Know My Name as it’s Called Again

‘Cause I Need Freedom Now

And I Need to Know How

To Live My Life as it’s Meant to Be

–Mumford and Sons ‘The Cave’

Starting Over.

There is something refreshing about it. It’s like a sigh of relief. Yet, often times, something terribly traumatic happens to bring us to this point. For me it has been over a year since writing my last official post. I stopped writing almost all together. I took time to shut up and experience life around me as it happened in real time. In this I discovered moments in my life where the person who I was could no longer reconcile with the person I had become. I had grown. My perspective had shifted. I disagreed with what I once thought.

Writing has some permanency about it. Thoughts can develop, they can be pondered, mused over in conversation. Yet in writing, there, statements are made. Unlike a conversation these words are defenseless. They are laid bare unable to expound upon itself. They are free to be pull out of context,  warped, misused, and misguided. By writing we are constructing a declaration of what we in one moment of time believe to be true. Yet what happens when we experience something that causes us to believe parts of our first declarations to be false?

We Start Over.

We write a second

third

fourth

fifth edition.

For the longest time I feared I must always believe what I wrote. Yet I never knew if one day I would disagree with my future self. So I stopped writing all together. I was done declaring what I thought I knew. But now I am back with a new perspective. Everything written has a context, it has a date, it has a time. Instead of declaring I am musing, my thoughts may shift over time and these thoughts can then be mapped out. I will be able to see them develop and shift and mold. I will be the first to admit there is a lot that I do not know, but I also believe God has given us thoughts and experiences worth sharing which may end up encouraging and changing someone else’s life too. Therefore with courage I take to the pen.

Starting over.

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One response to “Starting Over

  1. Part of God’s sanctifying work in our hearts/minds demands that change in perspective as one grows. Spiritual maturity doesn’t happen overnight. I like to look back on my journals and see how my perspective on life has changed through the seasons of life. It reminds me to have grace for others that declare their knowledge on subjects they are truly ignorant in! And it encourages my soul to see that spiritual growth in areas of my life over time.
    Good thoughts Justin.

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